Life Is About Choices – A Reflection (2)

Many times I had to choose among many things, or simply between two things. Every time I chose one, I was led to a corridor I didn’t yet know where it ended. Every time I felt that I had chosen the wrong one, I felt sorry for myself for a stupid decision and started to blame myself. I didn’t realize that everything is already in its position, and I have already given a chance to choose on my free will (now I know what ‘free will’ means).

I’ve learned a lot these past two weeks. Maybe this is the life lesson I might not be experienced if I chose to take the chance Ibu Naniek had given me last year. Frankly speaking, I always blamed myself for not taking the good chance. Visitation for Master of Science Program Accreditation is the case that made me more mature. I don’t want to talk about it any longer, but the impact is very good for my mental health development. My self-confidence is growing, and I eventually realized that no one’s perfect. No worth to be getting angry to a bunch of clowns since they expect us to laugh. Ha ha ha. Plus, this year I was given many chances to develop myself, knowing many people I might not be known better if I chose not to be here a year ago.

Then this coming seminar by the end of November 2006. I feel stressed out by the fact that I am the head of the organizing committee. Sometimes I was mad at my team for them not taking this serious, but many times I was aware that when I was the team member like them, I acted like one. Hhhhh….maybe karma really exists. I promised myself I would be more serious for the next programs we will have. Oh sure…we will have many other programs since we are the young leaders of sasakawa. Hehehehe…

Yesterday Kris sent a short message. She felt sorry she was given an offering from Samarinda office to join them. If only she was offered that job 3 years ago. Then I gave her advice (ceila….me giving someone advice?!) that she had to choose no matter what, and stick with her choice. It is not impossible that alternative number one is good for a short-term period, but alternative number two is good for a long-term period. Moreover, my brother stays in Bandung, and intends to be Bandung citizens for all his life. He loves Bandung so much, maybe someone has put a charm in his body. And if she loves him very much, she has to sacrifice her desire to take the chance.

To summarize, I feel so lucky now…and so proud of my choices. So guys, choose your own way and work that out as good as you can, and God will do the rest. That’s my reflection before Christmas.

VIRUS IN MY COMPUTER...Arrrrggghhhhh.....

Sejak kemarin sore yahoo messenger-ku terkena virus, gara-gara penasaran lihat foto2 vacationnya si Ringking! No doubt about the sender, aku bukalah site yang dikirimkan. Ternyataaaa....aku kena virus aneh-aneh. Dezighhhh....gimana sih sistem security di UI! Teman2 di YM pada marah besar ke aku, karena dipikir aku mengirimkan virus dengan sengaja. Mulanya sih mereka seneng barangkali karena dapat URL foto2 vacation-ku (nah kan...pada ngeres semua sih pikirannya), tapi akhirnya mereka marah-marah karena terkena virus. Lha sama dong ya, aku juga kena...

Tak seorangpun yang aku minta bantuan dapat menolongku. Ada yang menyarankan ganti password, ada yang bilang remove program from control panel trus install lagi, then my IT-man sudah membersihkan isi komputerku, semuanya sudah dilakukan tetapi tetap saja virus itu bercokol di komputerku. How come?!....

Yang bikin aku ketakutan setengah mati adalah, kalau semua file yang ada di My Docs diganggu sama si virus, karena half of them adalah my november deadlines. Oh God, I'm crossing my fingers for a good luck.

Kelakuanku semalam

Yesterday I did a very ridiculous thing. Beginning with halal bi halal (eventually I decided to go upstairs and say hello to all), I met with my dean. She's so panic by the fact that the assessor will be here in less than a week. Well...no comment. To make the story short, she told me that she will present the material on Tuesday, and expect to have the presentation slide on her desk as soon as possible.

Back home, I got a quick shower before facing the job. My bed was waiting to be laid, and my TV was on. I had to decide which way to go. Instead I opened my laptop (horeee....gw menaaaanggg) tapi aneh banget, prosesnya lama banget. Tidak sabar aku langsung buka saja file yang tadi aku kerjakan di kantor. Eeeehhh laptopnya ngambek. Had to restart. Okay, menunggu dia restart (kayaknya memang harus ganti memory card nih...) aku sms-an saja sambil nonton TV. Nguantuuuuuk banget!! Setelah my laptop opened, I opened my file again, sms again, mataku sudah berat banget, abis sms, aku tutup file, tutup laptop, and rushed to my bed. Zzzzzzzzzzzz....Ibu...you have to wait 'til Monday 'cause I am very sleepy right now.

Mengingat kejadian tadi malam, hari ini aku masih ketawa geli. Ada-ada saja. Aku jadi rada percaya nih sama si Paulo Coelho dalam "The Alchemist"nya yang mengatakan jika anda menginginkan sesuatu inginkan dengan sungguh-sungguh, dan alam akan membantumu. Kalau mau dianalisis, malam itu keinginan untuk menyelesaikan tugasku versus keinginan untuk tidur, lebih besar keinginan untuk tidur, sehingga laptopku membantu dengan cara membuat aku jengkel padanya. Jadilah aku tidur instead of doing my job.

JOBS TODAY

Why in the world can't you be serious in doing your job after a long holiday? I have this difficulty (I call it "holiday syndrome") to be seriously involved in anything I do until I get stuck with the deadlines.

Next week we will have a visit from the BAN assessors for our accreditation of Master of Science Program. This is a sudden visitation, for we haven't got any letter concerning that visit yet. Now I now that formally you wouldn't get any warning about the visit and who your assessors will be, it's sort of like a "sidak" (inspeksi mendadak) in government organizational behavior. Well, informally though, you would get that warning at least a week before the venue from any sources.

Five years ago our Master of Science Program got an Excellent Predicate in accreditation, and we have to maintain that position now. The board wanted to impress the assessors by showing our strength in technology usage and content. A friend and I have to make a presentation slide for that purpose. But how???!! Please pray for us....

Yesterday KC emailed me, what a surprise! Haven't got any messages from him this last 2 months, and suddenly he emailed me asking for my colleagues Aten and my PhD proposal. Well, like Ibu Mimi said, "you will get over it after a week". That works with KC.

Yesterday I was an hour late for Mba Anni invitation to Hanamasa Mahakam, but finally I could make it. I met with Bang Rani who admitted that he lost several pounds but it seemed that he's just the same as I saw him the last time we met. Mas Ndaru was like I saw in Bali couple of month ago. Wawan and Nana, the couple of AIF, were getting bigger and more mature. Mba Anni who hasn't lost her enthusiasm in the development of Indonesian young family, will be back to Tokyo this evening. Bang Jehan whom I cited in my book on Sustainable Development, just got back from Tokyo and has gotten his PhD degree. He also had his second child ( a girl) delivered only three month ago. Congratulations. Nice to meet them all.

Now, I am staring at my computer, making my presentation slide. Everyone's upstairs in the auditorium to have halal bi halal and free lunch, and I am here doing this boring job. But instead of finishing the presentation, I write my blog. It's more interesting than making a presentation slide or having a halal bi halal upstairs. Hmmmmm.....is it??!!